Embracing the Skill of Remaining Calm in Chaos -3 Reasons Why This Will Increase Your Sanity & Peace

Have you felt like you were stuck in a whirlwind lately?

✔️Irritable?

✔️Quick to React?

✔️Tight Neck & Shoulders?

✔️Restless Nights of Sleep?

You might just be caught up in the chaos of life.🤔

Feel like you are barely surviving the daily grind, subzero temps, the pandemic, politics, media, or just the average day-to-day? Just trying to keep your head above water?

You're not alone.

February can be a long month. Thank goodness it only has 28 days.

Sometimes, life has a way of piling up...

...and before you realize it....you're in over your head.

I know what your initial reaction to this situation is...to blame yourself.

I have been that same person my whole life, too.

But hear me out...

It is about time to release those old patterns, that old reaction.🖤🖤

The chaos of the world will come and go. I understand that you are a strong, responsible, and (more than) capable person. I know that you are more than willing to take responsibility for the situations that you get yourself into...but this isn't about that.

You just haven't had the opportunity to learn the skill of navigating chaos with calm yet.

You wouldn't get mad at a kid for not being able to tie his shoe on his first or second attempt. You wouldn't take a kid's bike away - the first time he crashed.

To acquire a new skill, you first have to be taught it - probably over and over again. You have to me modeled it. You need to practice. You need to fail and then choose to learn and grow from the failure. You need to have small moments of success that spark a fire and passion inside you that makes you want to continue.

This is how we acquire a new skill.

Now - think about it...

Many of us grew up in some sort of chaos...

• Dysfunctional families

• Poverty...or the very scary wealth addiction

• The absence of true presence and love from those people we needed it from

• Loved ones or yourself with addiction

• Discrimination

• Etc.

And in years past...we found coping strategies that mildly dimmed one form of chaos...while only really...causing more chaos.

We have just navigated one, two, three, or several decades of "bigger is better," "more is better," power, and greed. Navigating all of that made us good at the game of war.

It is not our fault.

Here is the good news: The world is changing. While, change takes a bit of time...we can still breathe in and out and start making choices on how we want to navigate the new world. We can not only set new priorities and intentions...but we can choose to start learning and practicing new skills that will bring us the peace and joy we deserve.❤️

How about learning to be the calm in the midst of chaos?

Who's with me?????

3 Tips On How to Choose Calm as Your Response/Reaction:

1. It's Okay to Feel Your Emotions - For some reason, many of us were raised to believe that it wasn't okay to be mad, sad, frustrated, or even happy, proud, or overjoyed. If our parents and communities had taught us how to identify those emotions and allowed us the space to be present in them - while we were well supported and loved, we might be more likely to not only navigate these emotions but support others. We might all have more compassion. We might have less mental illness, suicide, eating disorders, etc. Instead, many of us just learned the skill of bottling up our emotions until they exploded - in some sort of coping strategy. I now see my emotions as indicators - just like warning lights on your dashboard (check engine or low oil). 9 times out of 10, my (heightened) emotions are an indicator of fatigue. When I am fatigued - some of those old wounds/scars and areas of low self-esteem come bubbling to the surface. Others are providing a mirror for me to see areas within myself that still need some work. And also providing (quite frankly) - a BIG FAT mirror that I just need to make sleep, alone time, and quiet time a priority. I am currently working on learning how to be present in my emotions and to ask myself (& truly listen) to what these signals are telling me. I hope you will join me in doing the same. This "allowing" actually makes the emotions wash over me much more quickly - so that I can return to a state of calm quicker. I don't expect any of us to be in a state of calm 100% of the time...but if you are able to return to that state quicker...doesn't that sound nice?

2. Take the Observer Role - If you feel the chaos sucking you in...another strategy is to quickly jump to an observer role. How would your best friend, mom, a good teacher, or therapist view your situation - from the outside? What questions would they ask you (& others involved) - so they can help you get to the bottom of it? What loving words of encouragement would they say? What advice might they give? Here is another observer possibility: Put yourself in the other person's shoes...or on the other side of the viewpoint. Why do they feel that way? Why are they acting that way or saying those things? Notes: 1)This skill is not easy and takes quite a bit of practice - but can be so amazingly insightful. 2)There are bad people/souls in this world that we should avoid trying to understand. We need to distance ourselves from that energy. By learning the skill of observing, instead of reacting...the chaos will certainly lessen...if not dissipate entirely. "Energy goes...where attention flows."

3. Remove Yourself - Although this is the 3rd tip on the list - I learned and started using this one first. When in doubt, remove yourself! Remove yourself from the chaos and the drama and the noise - as fast as you can! AND - do not worry about explaining yourself. You don't owe anyone that. Just graciously bow out. "This is not your circus, and these are not your monkeys." Some of you reading this may also be an empath or a sensitive; and if you are - this advice is most certainly for you. Until you have done more research and have settled into being an empath and how to navigate that trait - to keep yourself safe and in peace...always exit situations that are making you feel like the waters of chaos are rising. As I mentioned above, it is most certainly ok to feel your emotions, but I wouldn't recommend making big decisions while deep in those emotions. By removing yourself, you can get the space to breathe, reboot, and weigh out options. To Be Clear: Removing yourself is not the same thing as running away. It might be viewed that way by some, but you don't owe anyone an explanation on how you choose to find your peace - especially if you take the steps and do the work to communicate about or resolve the situation when you are ready and in a healthier state - with very clear boundaries. By removing yourself, you obtain the little bit of space/distance that you need to do exactly that.

3 Reasons Why Learning the Skill of Choosing Calm - Will Not Only Increase Your Sanity and Peace, but also Joy:

1. It's All About Perception, Anyway - I know that everyone reading this has a had one, two, or many people in your life that you would consider a "drama magnet." Every time you run into them - they have something "totally crazy" going on. I also bet you can think of a few people in your life that don't ever seem to be affected by anything. "What!? Your car was totaled!?" "Yah, man. No worries. It will all work out." Considering that I bet you know people that reside in both of those walks of life...I bet you can grasp the concept that everything in life is all about perception. One person can have just gone through the most horrible of days and barely ruffle a feather...and another can stub their toe and you would think the world is going to end. Just as we all perceive life's trials and lessens differently, we probably all define chaos differently, too. The way we choose to perceive our current situation has a lot to do with our environment growing up, how much chaos was in it, and how our loved ones modeled the navigation of that chaos. We learned by watching them. We can unlearn, too...by choosing to. We can build a good quality circle around us...people that reside in their space and navigate their experiences with a greater state of ease and grace. We can choose to change our perception and choose calm.

2. Control and Perfectionism are Curses, Not Blessings - Until recently, I lived most of my life believing that I would finally be happy and have a good life - as soon as I could perfect most pieces of my life (work hard enough, be wealthy enough, smart enough, healthy enough, pretty enough). I really thought I could "out wit" life by getting better at controlling it - than it controlled me. Holy Cow! I cannot even believe how much of a disease that was. It is the worst addiction I have ever had to climb out of. I have been living the last several years unlearning those toxic traits. I now know that I was never someone to be admired when I could juggle, micromanage, & multitask to a level 10. I was in a dis-ease state. I was sick. The need to control and to be perfect are curses...and oh, boy!...they open the door wide open to more chaos coming your way. Remember - if you are sending out the emotion/energy of FEAR to need to control everything...the universe will send more of that energy back at you. If this section resonates with you...grow with me...by choosing to release these crippling curses and walk towards peace, ease, and a trusting energy - that the universe is here to support you.

3. Walking Through Fear Breeds True Empowerment - I have never considered myself a "worry wart" - probably because I always spent all of my time thinking about how I could control everything and be perfect.😉 Now I see that I was always more worried about "failing" than I thought I was - hence the desire to control. I have to choose to not get bummed out by this "avoidance and fear of failure" that I lived in - for so many years. Now I realize how amazingly awesome failure is! Failure teaches you (& enhances) so many wonderful traits: risk, innovation, creativity, uniqueness, and growth - to name a few. I can't believe I spent so many years trying to not be those things - in so many areas of my life. Don't get me wrong - I didn't live in a cave...and never try anything...but I certainly had areas of my life that I was afraid to "step out of the box." By no means am I suddenly Elon Musk...but I do have a much better outlook on risk these days. I reposted a quote the other day that read, "Strength doesn't come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't." I smiled pretty big when I saw that quote and was eager to share it - as my heart finally resonated with that statement. I felt empowered by the changes I've made. Fear still gives me butterflies - but now I am getting better at walking through them, instead of doing everything I can to control the situation - so that I can avoid those butterflies. AND - I will tell you what...dancing amongst those butterflies...and onto the other side of fear (and into growth)...feels way better in the long run, than the anxiety caused by trying to control everything. That level of empowerment is the most beautiful calm I've found.

My wish for you is that as you step out into the chaos of your daily life and the world today...may you start utilizing the information in this post to learn/practice/enhance the skill of remaining calm in the chaos. You deserve that sanity and peace. I'm sending so many blessings your way.🖤